I’m sorry
I’m sorry I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry I don’t know how to start the conversation, I’m sorry I’m pushing you. Tried to push you closer, but I guess I’m just pushing you away. I think I know what’s going on. I’m almost positive because I’ve done it too. You’ve said words that echo so strongly in my own mind I just want to scream and cry because I never wanted to see you feeling that way. More than anything I just want someone to tell me what to say to make it all better, or to at least try to help instead of making it worse. I feel worthless, useless, completely out of control. I wish I had my own thought under control so I could do what I promised and help people when they need it. I wish I was needed. You already have someone who’s helped you through more rants in six months than I have in three years. You already have someone to you can talk to more than you ever could to me. I can’t do anything for you right now except put more stress on you. I’m always here, even when that does more harm than good. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m selfish. I’m sorry I’m not there when you need me. I’m sorry I can’t be closer. I’m sorry I don’t know how to start the conversation. I dunno, maybe not talking about it helps. I don’t know. I don’t know and it’s tearing me apart. I know you’re not ok. I know I’m not ok.
I love you.
